People often move far away after a divorce to get some physical and mental distance between themselves and their ex, to pursue new career opportunities, or just for a change of scenery. However, living so far away from your former spouse can be more complex when you share children. Although it may be difficult, child custody can work in a long-distance divorce. Reach out to a Union County child custody attorney to learn more about your legal rights and options.
How Can Child Custody Work in a Long-Distance Divorce?
Like in any divorce, parents who live far away from each other can create a unique custody arrangement that suits the needs of their family. If you and your former spouse live a plane ride or long drive away from one another, a 50/50 custody arrangement is likely unrealistic. Although the distance may complicate matters, it is possible to agree to a custody arrangement that works for all parties. Below are some tips for making long-distance custody arrangements work.
- Talk about travel: Switching households every weekend may seem like a reasonable ask, but consider the distance and travel. Determine each parent’s budget for the child to travel between homes. Will they need to fly? Is making that far of a drive every Friday and Sunday reasonable? How much are you willing to spend? Answer these questions honestly to determine the most fair and reasonable schedule.
- Be flexible: It may be natural to think your way is the best way, but in any co-parenting arrangement it is crucial that you are willing to cooperate with your ex. In New Jersey, couples often go to mediation before court for a divorce. Through mediation, you and your former spouse can work together to come up with a unique and flexible custody agreement that meets your needs. It can be as unusual or strange as you need it to be, as long as it allows your child to maintain a relationship with both of you.
- Plan for emergencies: When parents live far away from one another, the child will be hours or a plane ride away from one parent at all times. Although you and your ex may share physical and legal custody, there should be stipulations in the agreement that outline how a parent should act if an emergency or unexpected situation arises.
- Be logical: Although a court may have awarded both of you equal custody if you lived near each other, 50/50 or even 60/40 custody will probably not work, depending on the distance. One parent must be willing to sacrifice some parenting time to ensure the child can maintain a stable life, attend school, build friendships, participate in extracurricular activities, and more.
The way a reasonable and fair custody agreement looks will vary depending on the distance between you and your ex. The noncustodial parent may get a weekend visit every month as well as additional custody time during breaks from school. Or, the parents may be able to pull off weekend visits multiple times per month if they are able to make the travel arrangements work.
Every family is unique and so are their custody needs. Work with an experienced attorney to learn more about how you can make child custody work in a long-distance divorce.
