Postnuptial agreements, while controversial, offer financial security for both parties in a marriage. For advice on how to tell your spouse that you want a postnup, continue reading and work with an experienced Mountainside family law attorney.
What is a Postnup?
A postnup, or postnuptial agreement, is a legal contract that can be signed by two parties in a married couple. It is the same as a prenuptial agreement, or prenup, except that it is created and signed after the pair has already wed.
The postnup serves to establish which spouse is entitled to or responsible for which financial assets or properties in the event of a divorce. While these documents are beneficial and offer protection for both parties, asking for one can be uncomfortable as it often is associated with an impending divorce or setting the relationship up for failure.
How Should I Tell My Spouse I Want a Postnup?
If you want to broach the topic of a postnuptial agreement with your spouse it is important to go about it in a calm and open manner. Consider the following.
- Prepare: Preparation can keep the conversation from going awry or creating a bigger mess. First of all, do some research on postnups and all they entail. Consider the pros and cons that they offer each spouse. Practice some lines in the mirror or with a trusted friend or family member to ensure you do not misrepresent your feelings.
- Time and place: Pick a time when you know you will not be interrupted. Also, choose the right place. A busy area with lots of listening ears is likely not conducive to a vulnerable conversation like this. Instead, do it at home or somewhere calm where you know you will have privacy. Avoid bringing it up if you are arguing or are overly stressed.
- Be honest: Honesty is the best policy. Express in no uncertain terms why you want a postnup, sharing your feelings and where they came from. Explain the concerns you have and emphasize that it is one option you are considering but that you want to explore it.
- Give them space: Give them the opportunity to respond once you have explained your side. They may be overwhelmed but allow them to express what they are feeling and their reaction. They may want to continue the discussion or take time to process together or alone. Allow them this time to think and do their own research.
You will likely not resolve the matter or come to a final decision within that first conversation. Give your spouse the time to think and process and set up another conversation to continue the discussion. You must be willing to compromise and consider all options. Reach out to an experienced attorney for more information and legal advice.
